Having grown up in a hostile environment, I learned to be strong so whatever came my way after I left my mother, I was able to overcome. Although my childhood memories come with a lot of hurt and pain, I am still thankful to my mother because she was the reason I became a strong person.

Right now, I am very happy with my home life. I have a wonderful husband and it’s been 15 years and going strong. I have 3 great kids who are growing up to be good persons. I try to make our home life as harmonious as possible. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a home where there is a lot of fighting and shouting.  I teach them to communicate to me in a positive way. Most of all, our home is overflowing with love and faith in God. No matter what I went through in my childhood, they were all replaced with what I have now.

I was able to prove my mothe wrong that I will not be happy in life and that I will not succeed.

I’ve always been very independent probably because I was most ignored in the family so I wanted to make my own life. I wanted to prove to my sisters that you can make your own decisions and succeed. Listening and obeying to your parents is a very good thing but sometimes you also have to think of your own. I chose my own path in life. I chose to get married early but I also chose to make it work. I chose to succeed in my career for my family. I chose to give my children a good life.

When my mother died, my two sisters were at a loss because they were so used to having someone tell them what to do. At the moment they are both struggling with their finances and with their lives and all because someone else chose for them.

I knew at that time that there was no one to defend me anymore. I was vulnerable to my mother’s anger and when she shouted at me and became violent, I would shout back in return and reason out. We were always arguing and fighting so I turned my attention to my studies and looked for affection from my friends at school till I was in my teens. I learned to take care of myself. I had to be tough. I got very good grades in school and became very active in extra-curricular activities. I won contests, quiz bees and competitions in other schools. I became very popular.  The attention I lacked at home was given to me  by other people who admired me  and I worked harder to be the best because that was the only way other people would love me. I realized later on, that it was superficial. It was the kind of love and admiration that faded over time. Little did I realize back then that my mother was just as confused as I was and also trying to be tough in her own way.

I remember a time when I loved her so much. I worried about her and prayed for her but somehow that love slowly faded because of the wall between us. There was so much hurt. My mother became violent at times and would hurt me because I reasoned out. Once she cut off a portion of my hair. Another time she pushed me off the stairs.  I also remember a time when she tore my clothes and tried to push me out of the door.What hurt me more was when she and my siblings shouted to my face that I was adopted like it was a crime and I resented that so much.I also resented the fact that she didn’t want to work for us but just wanted to depend on social services for help and my grandfather’s support. A child imprints traumatic memories on their minds.

 I’m not going to say that she hurt me even if I did nothing. I was very opinionated, perhaps as a defense and she couldn’t take it. I’m also not going to make my mom look like she was a monster because was not.  We just didn’t get along like two people going in different directions.

 My mom would tell other people how bad I was and I never cared because I knew in my heart that I wasn’t. And that was how we grew further apart…because we believed in different things and all these things shaped me into what I have become now. As I grew older, I realized more and more that she was a victim as I was of circumstances in our lives.

If you too feel that people are not believing in you. That they are discouraging i invite you to join my site and share your story too! Anyone can join and post his story on my site. Just please don’t post anything vulgar or illegal that will take away from the integrity of the site!

if you dont want to write thats okay too! you are more than welcome to read our stories and share it with your friends or comment on our posts etc’.

hope you have a good time on my site!

Mike